Community requires conflict resolution

illustration of colorful faces with hand lettering that reads, "communuty requires conflict resolution"

As we slide further and further into fascism, many more of us are recognizing the importance of community.

Ideally, we would all be part of strong, accepting, accessible communities in both online and real life spaces. I hope that’s what we are all working towards. I’ve shared here in the past some ways to curate community and keep it safe for everyone.

Unfortunately for many disabled people, real life community is largely inaccessible (especially with most people, including leftists, refusing to mask), so we often rely more on digital spaces.

Conflict resolution is a key element of community. No community is going to consist only of people who we all get along and work well with. Inevitably we will need to do some conflict resolution at some point.

Almost all of us are lacking conflict resolution skills because that’s how we are socialized in capitalist empires. Capitalism thrives on hyper individualism and has a vested interest in dividing us as much as possible.

We will all have to do the work of unlearning this hyperindividualism and learning how to work with others in conflict resolution.

This will probably look very different in real life versus online spaces.

In real life most of us understand that speaking to someone one on one to discuss an issue is probably the most effective way to begin. Not only do we want to ensure that the other person is aware of the issue and has a chance to address it, but most of us don’t love airing dirty laundry in public, ours or someone else’s.

Online, people often begin publicly. Maybe this is because that’s how most of our communication is with community members in online spaces. Maybe it’s because the culture online is different. But the people behind the screens are still people deserving of respect, relationship, and communication.

Wherever you’re building community and relationships, please:

• Make sure you are making it inclusive, safe, and accessible.

• Engage in a conflict resolution practice. (Practice means its ongoing and we don’t always get it right but we keep trying)

• Treat relationships and people as if they matter, because they do. As Kristianna says, relationship is our most abundant resource.

Another important thing to note is that some of the conflict resolution that may be required could be internal. Some of us are naturally better or raised to be better at conflict resolution and existing in community than others. Folks who are taught at a young age that something is wrong with them often struggle to grow up and exist in relationship with others.

This is where a lot of the shadow work we discussed before comes in. If we recognize we are the people struggling to be in community (I speak from personal experience and ongoing work here), we need to do the work to move with or heal that part of ourselves and try not to cause harm to others.

As with many of these topics, I’ve built a TikTok collection around it where you can see creators (most of the global majority), discuss conflict resolution in different ways.

Illustration of a decorative heart held up by crows with hand written text that reads, “Mutual Aid Moment”

Mutual aid is a vital part of community care and liberation work.

If you have the funds, please give. If you do not, please share the link with others and encourage them to do so!